There really is no excuse for not knowing exactly what Mom wants for Mother’s Day. Unsure? At a loss? Just ask Reddit. Let me give you a sampling, circa 2019:
A nap I don’t have to set an alarm for
A long bath and maybe get a pedicure
To not have to hide in the bathroom to eat ice cream or sweets by myself
To go to brunch by myself and drink coffee while it’s hot
To read a book undisturbed
An hour or two of total and complete silence
Oh, moms 😆. How I feel ya. No children yet? Peruse the above list carefully. These are what we want on the seriously MOMMEST day of the year … that day when Hallmark and the entire capitalist system is directed toward honoring mothers (i.e. putting mom on a pedestal but not actually doing anything to make her life any better or easier). We could literally ask for anything.
Still considering motherhood? Read this.
If you’re thinking I’m a downer, you WOULD BE TOTALLY CORRECT, though I prefer the term realist. Forgetting for a moment the incredibly low bar set by the other 364 days of the year in these mothers’ lives, I think their plaintive requests for this special day are pretty relevant for LBYM, relevant even for those of us without children. The old adage is true again—listen to Mom(s).
I talk to a lot of people about living beneath your means and as much as I want the whole experience to be fun! empowering! life-changing! … the truth is that a lot of the time it’s tedious, repetitive, and decidedly un-fun. Facing your financial situation. Creating and sticking to a budget. Keeping your eyes on the prize. More concerned with COLA than YOLO. Ugh! Sometimes, a friend was complaining, you’d rather just live your best life and take. a. damn. vacation.
Oooohhh—you can.
You know what all these Reddit Mother’s Day wishes are? They’re micro-vacations. Yup. That’s right. Not mini-vacations. Micro-vacations. And what are micro-vacations exactly? They’re little bits of utter respite. If these aren’t part of your 24/7, that needs to change RIGHT NOW. I take A LOT of them. They are life, especially for those of us short on time or money … or both. Maybe we can’t get to California all the time, but we can get into that California state of mind.
There are no hard or fast rules for exactly what you do on a micro-vacation or how short a micro-vacation needs to be—I’d say all of what Mom wants for Mother’s Day above qualifies—but the one absolute non-negotiable is that you be ALL IN, completely focused on … the pleasure of what you’re (briefly) doing.
Did I invent micro-vacations? Maybe. I’ve certainly been crowing about them as if I did. Or at least as if I own the domain (I do! micro-vacations.com!). I love them so much, they’re in my bio. This list might be the saddest lemonade ever made out of lemons, but here are three LBYM reasons micro-vacations might really be better than ordinary vacations:
They don’t cost much.
One of my favorite micro-vacations consists of getting a $0.99 vanilla soft-serve cone from McDonald’s and savoring it slowly in the parking lot while reading a long-form journalism article. The most glorious 16 minutes you can ever imagine (I read fast). Total cost? With tax, $1.05.
Last I checked, an hour or two of total and complete silence was free.
There’s no pressure.
If you take one big vacation a year and invest a significant amount of time and money in the planning and execution of said trip, you’ll likely spend a lot of time on your vacation making sure it’s “worth it”. That sounds like … not a vacation.
On the other hand, If I didn’t really like the book I checked out from the library and read for an hour in the cozy armchair in front of the fireplace at the coffee shop … there’s always next week. Or tomorrow.
They encourage resourcefulness.
Anyone can call a travel agent and dial up a week or two of R&R. It takes real creativity to recharge in 1/20th the time. Try different things. Be open to where and when opportunities to micro-vacation may arise. Find like-minded people to micro-vacation with. Practice being mindful in the micro-vacationing moment. This resourcefulness might just spill over into the rest of your financial life.
If micro-vacations are good enough for Mom on Mother’s Day, they’re good enough for you.