You know managing your money and managing your diet are basically the same thing, right? Hence, we’re probably all muddling through a season of discontent … what with the holiday hangover from too much spending and too much eating. Not to worry. New Year’s Day is coming!
Best. Holiday. Ever. Even before the black-eyed peas.
Let us all look forward to that optimistic morning when, full of good intentions, new budget and new resolutions in hand, we collectively promise that this year—this year, it’s going to be different. I’m going to be different. We’re gonna make our dreams come true … RIP Penny Marshall.
Apparently, though, end-of-2018 me is not that different from end-of-2017 me. My 2019 resolutions look a lot like my 2018 list … with a few repeats from 2015 and 2016 thrown in for good measure. Once more … with feeling, please. Keep me accountable, people!
#1 Take the Instant Pot I bought in 2016 out of its box
Third time’s the charm? This really should be an epic love affair between woman and machine. I mean, one of my favorite things is twofers and my Instant Pot is a 7-in-1 version. One of my 2018 resolutions was to master a recipe a month with my new, er … two-and-a-half-year-old Instant Pot. But maybe that was too much pressure (ha). This year, I resolve to just unpack it and put it on the counter. I’m sure it will be fine. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that people use them to make bombs.
#2 Throw one thing away every day
Do you know how much Americans spend on storage each year? $38 billion. Billion. And that’s one of the least scary statistics about our … stuff. I can hardly point fingers though. When we moved this year, both the Instant Pot and our wedding china came along … in their original, unopened boxes. We’ve been married for over eleven years.
In humans vs. clutter … the clutter is winning. I could throw 10 items away every day and you wouldn’t be able to tell. Christmas alone probably set me back two weeks. Thank you, 127-piece play set.
#3 Set aside enough money to live overseas for three months
One of my dreams is to take a year off and travel around the world with the family, introducing my kids to cultures where everyone eats the same thing at dinner and, OMG, they all survive. Before we venture too far afield, though, the hubs suggested it might make sense to do a shorter trial run. In Taiwan. Next winter. Yaaaaaas! I am so on board.
I’m not sure exactly how much money we’ll need since it depends on a lot of things. Will someone rent our house in Madison? (maybe, if I get rid of all the crap) Can I teach test prep there? Can I make the kids Instafamous? How much bubble tea will I drink? Is there healthcare? (yes, Virginia, there is affordable healthcare everywhere except in America) Most likely, I’ll assume the worst-case scenario—live completely off savings … and addicted to bubble tea.
#4 Improve my Mandarin
A lot of people in Taiwan speak English, especially in the capital, but it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on the language. I’m cursed with a native speaker Chinese accent and an American-born Chinese vocabulary. It’s confusing for anyone who is a native speaker, a surprising number of whom come through Madison.
Inevitably, after exchanging pleasantries, I’ll be asked at what age I came to the United States. I’ll reply that I was born here, and then they’ll say something I’m sure the average Chinese kindergartner would understand.
Me: *blank look*
This resolution has also appeared on the list before, but I needed a purpose! Also, a teacher.
#5 Eat less meat
The Instant Pot … it’s good for beans, right?