If you had to describe your personal finances in one word, what would it be? I would hazard a guess and say exactly zero of you would return, boring.
Yup, that’s how I roll … really.
I know, because looking at the numbers is literally how I relax. I’ve worked for pay and I’ve worked for, umm, no pay, and let me tell you—I have way more need for relaxation with the latter. After shoveling the sidewalk, volunteering in my son’s classroom, and throwing dinner in some pot or the other—all before breakfast—I want nothing more than to kick back with a cup of coffee and look at rows upon rows of figures that I expected to see.
What’s new at LBYM? Oh … absolutely nada.
Sure, I like excitement and thrills as much as the next mom-whose-kids-have-sucked-the-very-marrow-of-life-out-from-her. Just not from my finances. I’m not alone here either. In the business world, excitement and thrills translates to, more or less, volatility. And volatility in business? Bad.
I used to run the Finance department of a company based in New York. Every quarter, the department heads would gather for a management meeting, a small part of which would always be dedicated to Mandatory Fun™, pretty much exactly what it sounds like—awkward team bonding via escape rooms or trivia night or poker. To this day, my greatest career disappointment was never convincing the team to plan one such outing at my favorite New Jersey jjimjilbang (i.e. Korean sauna). Think outside the box, people!
When we played poker, as was often the case, my boss would remark that I was a terrible bluffer, pause, and then sheepishly finish with how he supposed that was a good trait to have in your Finance person. At the first quarterly meeting of the year, we’d go around and share our department goals for the year. Compared to the heads of other groups, I tended not to use words like new or dynamic or creative in describing my plans and outlook for the year. When words like that start popping up in Finance presentations, you eventually end up with … Enron.
Ideally, Finance would be almost invisible, there only to support and enable other departments to do their best work. And how does the Finance department do that? By knowing the goals of those departments and of the entire organization.
Goals, hmm? You might be surprised by how many parallels there are between your finances and a company’s finances.
I’m biased perhaps, but you should aim for boring.
Your budget—a snooze fest. Your Net Worth—plodding onwards and upwards, more the tortoise than the hare. Your insurance policies—plain vanilla. Your investments—nary a bitcoin or Beanie Baby in sight. No surprises—except for maybe the exact nature of those unexpected (but expected!) expenses in your shadow budget. Friends, let’s definitely get together and catch up on all the exciting things going on in our lives—the thrift store finds! Instant Pot recipes! Snow, snow, and more snow! Just know if we veer into the dollars and cents—yawn—we’re gonna need more caffeine.