Sometimes, I miss having a full-time, 9-to-5, “normal” office job. All that lovely routine … adults-only spaces … free coffee and snacks … a regular paycheck.
I particularly miss said job when people ask me what I do for a living. Umm, do you have an hour? I’m balancing a lot of different and disjointed responsibilities at the moment—acrobatically or haphazardly, depending on the day—so answering this question is pretty unappealing. I mean, it’s not as unappealing as the thought of having to put on pants with a waistband every day and heading out to work in the polar vortex … but still. I live in America, home of the almighty dollar! People are curious! I went to Harvard Business School! I must do something.
Depending on the mood I’m in or how chatty I’m feeling, I’ll alternately answer, I work in test prep, or, I’m a referee / handmaid / short order cook, or, I live off my passive income stream *winks at husband*. Sometimes I’ll say, I teach people about personal finance.
Inevitably, in response to the latter, people will respond, Oh, you’re a financial advisor? Ah, no.
If I look taken aback, it’s probably because this is what I associate with financial advisors:
When I first came across this full-page advertisement in The New York Times Magazine, my first thought was, You talkin’ to me? Then again, getting the physical paper delivered on Sunday ain’t cheap.
My second thought was, Eh.
If you have a financial advisor that you love or you are a financial advisor, you should probably stop reading here. I’m not saying that there aren’t good ones—or even great ones—working out there. I’m just not a huge fan of the wealth management industry. This ad encapsulates many of the reasons why.
The industry caters to people who already have a lot of assets.
And who want more, if this ad is any indication. The metric that most firms use to measure success is assets under management (AUM) as client fees are often calculated as a percentage of those assets (on average, 1% per year on assets of $1 million). Even if you’re an advisor just starting out, you’re probably pursuing clients who have significant wealth. After all, as Willie Sutton remarked about why he robbed banks, That’s where the money is. The industry has no incentive and, thus, no appetite for serving people for whom solid financial advice and guidance could be truly life-changing, i.e. people without a lot of money. People with more money, by the way, are not necessarily any better at managing it. They just have more room for error.
The goals aren’t interesting.
I like goals. Goals are important. Goals are motivating. But never-ending wealth? That is, seriously, the worst goal ever. If that is your goal, you’re probably also taking human growth hormone and considering cryogenic preservation. Why would you need never-ending wealth unless you were also never-ending? Usually, wealth management companies aren’t so explicit in what they help their clients do, but I can’t imagine myself getting fired up every morning in pursuit of this particular end. Even the term wealth management makes having a lot of money sound like nothing more than a chronic condition you need to monitor, like asthma. Snooze.
The industry implies that managing your money should be left to “experts”.
Of course, if never-ending wealth is your goal, maybe this is true, but you know what? Living beneath your means works, too. Look, if you have very specific needs (e.g. avoiding all taxes), might you need someone with a very particular skill set? Sure. The vast majority of people, though, and possibly even a higher percentage of women than of men, can manage their own financial affairs. I believe that—full stop. Even if you never respond to an ad like this one, it and others like it send a subtle message—with their gold lettering and confident, We know, because we know you well (really?)—that your own knowledge is lacking.
Hrmph.