It’s Thanksgiving time! If you’re anything like me, you’re beyond excited that New Year’s Day and your annual budget reset is just around the corner. If you’re not like me (i.e. you’re a laid-back, well-adjusted, and optimistic person), you’re probably eating beyond your means, poring over Black Friday ads, and enjoying time with your extended family.
I have much to give thanks for in this season of change, and this year, more than ever, I’m aware of how much I take for granted. When I work with and teach my clients at Live Beneath Your Means, I often remind them that comparison is the thief of joy. There is no faster road to dissatisfaction than wondering why everyone around you is doing better than you are. All the more so if you, say, graduated from Harvard Business School and recently saw all your classmates at a reunion (love you, Section C!).
Many of my friends from graduate school are doing very well. If they say they’re “unemployed”, that usually just means they haven’t decided which company they will join next as an investor slash CEO. As a little-known blogger slash part-time test prep instructor, I am, as you can imagine, one of the school’s more accomplished alumni. Also, do your kids need SAT prep this summer I can meet you at your house in the Hamptons?
You might be thinking, well, it’s easy not to compare with people totally out of your orbit. Thank you, honest reader. Actually, what makes it easy is walking through your own circumstances—whatever they may be—with a spirit of gratefulness and generosity.
Also, mo’ money, mo’ problems (you’ll see when I cover insurance).
Anyone who has been in the checkout line with me when someone in front of me is paying by check will know that this spirit of gratefulness and generosity is, alas, a fickle and inconstant presence. In our quest for better control over our financial lives, though, our mindset about the process is as important as the process itself. Reframe how you think about the journey. Instead of resenting what you have to do, embrace what you get to do.
How do we keep the message of Thanksgiving in our lives all year round? Let me qualify my earlier statement. Comparison can be the thief of joy. I’ve recently started working with low-income women of color and their families on financial literacy and money management … which has only underscored my belief that people with more money aren’t any better at managing it than people with less money. They just have more room for error, more … money.
These women’s struggles are not my struggles. Do you know what I get to do? I get to not choose which bills to pay this month. I get to depend on reliable transportation. At the doctor, I get to have my child treated first and me questioned about abuse later … or never. Comparison can be the thief of joy. Or it can open your eyes to real injustices.
Enjoy your turkey. Or tofurkey. New Year’s Day is coming!