I’m on the road this weekend at Harvard Undergraduate Women in Business’s annual Intercollegiate Business Convention for which I am a panelist speaking on … something completely unrelated to personal finance (alas).
The event, now in its 13th year, draws over 1,000 young women from all over the world to Boston where, after all the keynote speakers espousing girl power and breakout sessions on “Creating a Personal Brand”, I always hope they are, in coded hallway whispers and via encrypted Snapchat messages, secretly plotting to take over All The Things.
Seriously, these are some impressive women. I always enjoy the event, reminiscing about a time when I, too, thought four-inch heels were a reasonable footwear choice.
I’m here ostensibly to talk about getting an MBA, but what I’m always tempted to do instead is give them something waaaay more useful—some hard-earned money and relationship advice:
Hello, ladies! Good to see all your shining, earnest, and optimistic faces this morning … faces before they’ve been ravaged by having a toddler in your house for, basically, a decade. But, I digress.
Apparently, you all had enough personality for Harvard. Or your parents are, like, super rich. Congratulations! Take full advantage of your time here. While you are within these hallowed halls, you will learn many things. None of those things, however, will be of much help when you and your spouse, who went to one of the other Ivies and thus, always has a bit of a chip on their shoulder about Hahvahd, are deciding who is going to take a sick day and stay at home with little Chipper who has a fever and can’t go to daycare.
Solution? Flip a coin. Frankly, it’s as good as any other method and it’s faster.
But I am getting ahead of myself. We don’t have a lot of time as I have to umm, tell you about b-school admissions exams, so let’s get to the nitty gritty. First, the money. Financial independence is the best thing you can do for yourself FULL STOP. Three things will set you solidly on this path: establishing financial goals and a plan, setting and adhering to a budget, and surrounding yourself with people who support said goals and plan.
The first two are straightforward, at least in principle, if not in practice. Read my blog for more tips! The last item on the list is a little trickier.
If you are so fortunate as to find the person you’ll be slightly annoyed with the rest of your life, and they you, it’s not enough to promise to love, cherish, and always order different entrees when you eat out. You gotta have that support. They may say, “Of course I will support your financial decisions!” … but what does that actually look like? Spell. It. Out.
Ask “What if …”
I quit my job?
I want to move to pursue a professional opportunity?
I change my mind about being a stay-at-home parent?
I called heads, it was tails, but I need you to stay home with Chipper?
I give my time and money to a cause I feel strongly about?
Too many times, even in purportedly “equal” partnerships, the priorities of the person with the lady parts take a backseat. Pay attention and be aware!
Finally, whatever guidelines you and yours establish will shape-shift and be completely unreliable because … humans.
GOOD LUCK!
This is such good advice. Having just gotten married a few months ago (“later in life”), I keep telling my younger lady friends and colleagues to act on their financial goals before they get married. You have the money to buy that apartment? Do it! You want that dog? Get it! Don’t wait for some dude who might or might not come along. Live your life. The other benefit is that, if you do get married, and you have fulfilled your personal/financial goals, a) the person you marry sees the whole package – the you that you really are, b) you don’t have to negotiate with your new spouse as much (“hey – it’s already bought. What am I gonna do?”), and c) you understand your real self worth and desires.
Love your blog, Grace!
Aww, thanks, Tiffany! “Live your life!” — I think that’s the name of your blog :-D.